IS NOTHING SACRED: WHEN SEX INVADES  THE PASTORAL RELATIONSHIP by Marie M. Fortune.  Published by Harper and Row. 1989. 

Marie Fortune is an  ordained  minister  in  the United Church of Christ and the founder and  executive  director of the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic  Violence.  In 1984 she was asked to serve as advocate and pastor for six women who had made formal complaints of  sexual  abuse  against  the pastor of their church.  This book is a case study of the church, the pastor, the women, and  the  church's  inadequate  response  to  the  sexual misconduct.  She uses fictitious names for individuals and places and does not name the denomination. 

The First  Church  of  Newburg  was  a  fairly  typical  mainline protestant church whose  senior pastor  had resigned.  The search committee had been reviewing applications  for fifteen months and was beginning to get pressure to select someone. 

Donovan had  impeccable  credentials.  The  committee  member who visited Donovan's former church  felt  a vague sense of disquiet, but when the committee met Donovan,  he seemed almost too good to be true.  They called him  to be their pastor. 

Donovan was charismatic.  His  preaching  was dynamic, but he was preaching  Donovan,  not  scripture.   He  began  using anger and threats to control meetings.   Anyone  who disagreed with him was told to find another church.  Before  long, rumors were flying of his being a womanizer. 

All the women Donovan  abused  were  vulnerable  to  his power as pastor.   In two  cases  he  forcibly  raped  the  women.  In the others he emotionally coerced  them  into having sex with him and then swore them to  secrecy  about  the  relationship.   When the women learned about each  other  and  shared  their stories, they wanted to see Donovan stopped. 

In the fifth chapter Fortune explains  the three factors she sees as responsible for  Donovan  being  able  to continue to sexually abuse members of his congregation for over three years: a lack of professional policy,  the  failure  to  acknowledge the very real difference in power between a  pastor  and  those served, and the family model which invites incest. 

The last chapter is devoted  to  how  churches  can better handle clergy sexual abuse.  It  includes  protection of the vulnerable, accountability, restitution, and vindication.   It also shows how "shooting the messenger," misnaming the problem, and power of the patriarchy can prevent justice from being done. 

The book closes on a note  of  hope  by  including a model policy for dealing with clergy  sexual  misconduct  that  even discusses education and prevention. 
 
 

SEX IN THE FORBIDDEN  ZONE:  WHEN  MEN  IN POWER-DOCTORS, CLERGY, TEACHERS, AND OTHERS-BETRAY WOMEN'S TRUST  by PETER RUTTERS, M.D. 1989   FAWCETT PAPERBACK  $5.99. 

When was the last time you read a book that made you want to buy dozens of copies to share with almost everyone you know? This is such a book!  Dr. Rutter grabs his reader's attention at the very beginning of the book by relating two personal experiences of sex in the forbidden zone: the time he  came very close to having sex with one of  his  patients  and  the  time he  learned  that  an important mentor of his had had  many  sexual  relationships with patients, knowledge which  Dr.  Rutter did  not  use to stop the abuse.  Rutter explains how  vulnerable  all men, even those with the highest ethical standards,  are  to forbidden  sex.  He also explains why the response of many  men to a colleague who has had forbidden sex is a secret envy accompanied by a hope that someday they will be able to do the  same.   This  is what keeps men from policing their  own profession  and  permits  them  to  stand by silently as women are victimized. 

As a Jungian therapist, Rutter  is  convincing  when he tells men that their sexual fantasies  have  the potential for healing, but only if viewed as  representations  of  their own anima, not when they are projected onto a woman in the forbidden zone.  Acting on such fantasies or even sharing  them  with women who have come to them in trust can cause severe  psychological damage to the woman lasting for years. 

This book tells why men find forbidden sex so enticing.  It shows how women participate in it  allowing  themselves  to be sexually exploited.  It also  describes  the  psychological  and  cultural conditioning  that  prepare  women  and  men  to  participate  in destructive sexuality.   Examples  are given of the severe damage that  can  result  from  such  forbidden  sex,  and preventative measures, as well as  steps  to  recovery  from  past  abuse, are given. 

Rutter clearly explains why  sexual  behavior  is always wrong in relationships  involving   power,  trust,  and  dependency.   The dynamics of such relationships  remove the possiblity for a woman to truly consent, though in  most  cases  the women says the words indicating consent.    He  insists  that  because the man has the greater power, it is always the man's responsibility to guard the sexual boundaries, even if the  woman  is seductive.  Rutter also emphasizes that a man in a position of power over a woman holds a sacred trust to guard her from harm  and to  share his power with her so she can eventual go on without him. 

When he started researching  this  book,  Rutter found that there were no books or articles  written  on  this subject!  The "Don't Talk Rule  was  everywhere  evident  in  our society.  He insists that every book,  article,  and  speech  on  this  topic helps to remove the cloak of secrecy  which  has  made sexual exploitation possible.  The numbers of violations have been legion, but change is possible and has already begun in just the past few years. 

The book is  divided  into  seven  chapters.  One  points out the immense  potential  to  both  men   and  women  of  relationships involving power  and  trust.   Two  discusses  the  psychological wounds women bring to forbidden  sex  relationships  for healing. Three lists men's wounds  stemming  from  parental relationships. Four shows the stages a woman  passes  through  as her boundaries are  violated.    Five   traces   the   stages   from  the  man's perspective.  Six warns women how they  can guard their boundaries. Seven provides men with  a  guide  to  not acting on their sexual fantasies.  In the epilogue is  an  extensive  list of resources, both books and organizations, and notes on networking. 

Take care of your holiday shopping early; buy a copy of this book for everyone on your  shopping  list.   Be  sure  to include your doctor, lawyer,  professor,  clergy  person,  therapist, and your boss! 
 
 
 

JUDGEMENT    1990     PG-13     89  minutes   Director: Tom Topor Cast: Keith Carradine, Blyth Damer, Jack Warden 

The screenplay for this movie  made  for HBO is based on the true story of a priest of  the  Lafayette, Louisiana  Diocese who was convicted  of  pedophilia  in  1982.   Some  of  the  events  and characters were changed for dramatic  purposes.  The plot focuses on one young boy and his family  involved  in  taking the case to trial.  That as many as 200 altar  boys may have been abused over a five to seven  year  period  is  only  hinted  at.  It makes no reference to the fact that  seven  priests were implicated during legal proceedings and  that  "they  were  trading  these kids like baseball cards" (A quote from the prosecuting attorney in "Unholy Alliances," VANITY  Dec. 1991, p.227.). 

The story does show how innocently the parents allow their son to become involved with the priest.  It shows how the priest secures the boys' silence, the psychological and even physical damage the boy suffers, the denial of a doctor  who sees the evidence of the physical damage, and the denial, for some time, of some of  the parents.   That  the  Church's   response  is dictated  by  the insurance company  is well  brought  out!   The priest, obviously sexually addicted, is allowed to remain  in his denial of what he has done  by  a  monsignor  and  a  bishop  who,  upon  receiving complaints of new sexual abuse  promise  him a promotion and make no direct reference to the  complaints  until  months later when they ask him to surrender to the police! 

The only avenue to justice left after the bishop's unavailability and  cowardice  and  shortsightedness,  is  taking  the abuser to trial.  The difficulties of  a  child  testifying,  his  lawyer's skill in preparing him  without  "leading  the  witness," and the boy's great courage fueled by his anger are powerful scenes. 

The suffering of all involved is well portrayed.  The boy suffers terribly.  Viewers see his fear of  the abuser, his insomnia, and his  nightmares.  The  parents  suffer  also.   Their  faith suffers.  Their  marriage  suffers.   Their  relationships in the community suffer.  The family business suffers.  The hierarchy of the Church suffer at  least  anxiety  as  the  case is brought to trial and they are ordered to pay millions of dollars in damages. And finally the priest suffers when he is sentenced to prison for twenty years at hard labor with no chance for parole. 

If this video is not available for  rent, it can be purchased for $89.99, or it may be borrowed from the library of the NEW MEXICO COALITION  OF  SEXUAL  ASSAULT  PROGRAMS  at  4004  Carlisle  NE, Albuquerque, NM. (505)883-8020. 
 
 

A SECRET WORLD: SEXUALITY AND THE SEARCH FOR CELIBACY by A. W. Richard Sipe. Brunner/ Mazel. 1990. $29.95. 

A. W. Richard Sipe is a Catholic priest who left active ministry and married. He works as a psychotherapist in private practice and has treated and interviewed over 1500 persons over the past twenty-five years, mostly priests. 

The book is divided into three sections. In Part I "The Background and the Context" Sipe explains how he came to write the book, how celibacy was affected by the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the origins of celibacy, and the meaning of celibacy. 

In Part II "Practice Verses the Profession" Sipe takes an in-depth look at patterns of heterosexuality, homosexuality, masturbation, pedophilia, sexual compromises, sex drive, and urging abortion upon those they have impregnated by Catholic priests. 

In Part III Sipe explores the stages necessary to achieve celibacy and discusses married priesthood and the incredibility of the church's sexual teachings. ("How many still believe every act of masturbation is always a mortal sin?" he asks!) He describes those priests he has met who have achieved celibacy and urges them to write of their experiences so that others might follow their example. 

This is a most thought provoking book, one to be read by celibates and all those concerned with the crisis in the church today. 
 
 

SEX IN  THE  PARISH  by  Karen  Lebacqz  and  Ronald  G.  Barton Westminister/John Knox Press.  1991. 

This is  a  book  about  sexual  ethics.  The authors are concerned not only  with sexual abuse, but also with how to create, nourish and express sexuality  in a healthy way.  It grew out of work of the Professional  Ethics  Group  of the Center for Ethics and Social Policy  at  the  Graduate  Theological Union in Berkeley. 

Chapter One focuses on sexuality as a positive gift and some of its vulnerabilities  and  joys  in  a parish setting.  Chapter Two examines  the  dynamics  of  sexual  desire  and  temptation, especially in respect to male sexuality, since most pastors are male.  Three is the story of one pastor who failed to set proper sexual boundaries. 

Chapter Four analyses power and role to explain why sexual contact between a pastor and a parishioner is suspect.  Mutuality is missing in the  pastor-parishioner  relationship.   The pastor has power; the parishioner is vulnerable.  The responsibility for maintaining boundaries lies with the pastor because the pastor is the stronger party.  To be violated  by a person of the cloth is to  feel  violated by God and the church.   Ministry  is  a profession.   Pastors   are ordained   to  meet  the  needs  of parishioners, not to get their own needs met.  Sexual intimacy in such cases is a violation of trust and has an incestuous quality. 

Chapter Five is an ethical framework.  Consent is a necessary condition   for ethical sex. Equal power, full knowledge, and  freedom  are  prerequisites  for  consent.  If a pastor offers time and attention to a needy, vulnerable parishioner in exchange for sexual contact, the parishioner is not able to give valid consent.  Any use of coercion or deception is not ethical.  If, however,  the  pastor and parishoner meet as equals, as in some ministry, the authors  of this book believe in the possibility of a genuinely loving, consensual relationship if the pastor's behavior is professional and ethical. 

Chapter Six discusses sexual harassment  and points out that our society normally expects male  domination and violence rather than  consensual  and  mutual   sexuality.   Frequently  a  woman reporting  a male violation of sexual  boundaries is not believed or is blamed.  Chapter Seven explores the sexual  ethics of a woman pastor, Chapter Eight, a  single  pastor,  Chapter  Nine, lesbian and gay pastors. 

Chapter Ten discusses  the  bishop's  responsibility in the  area  of  pastoral  sexual  ethics.   An appendix  presents guidelines for allegations  of  inappropriate  sexual  contact by pastors or pastoral counselors in professional relationships.  I highly recommend this  book  to  all  bishops,  clergy,  pastoral counselors, and to those who have experienced violation of their sexual boundaries in a pastoral setting. 
 
 

THE  SECRET  SIN:  HEALING  THE  WOUNDS  OF  SEXUAL ADDICTION  by Mark Laaser,Ph.D. Zondervan  Publishing, 1992. $8.99. 

In his introduction, Dr. Laaser affirms  his belief that there is hope for the church and all those in the church who suffer from sexual sins including spouses, families, friends, and sexually addicted pastors  confessing  that  he  writes  from his personal experiences as a sex addict and a former pastor. 

The book is divided into three  parts.  Part I deals with sexual addiction.  Laaser discusses  sexual  addiction as both a sin and as a disease.  Next  he  explains  the  building blocks of sexual addiction: fantasy, pornography, and masturbation and shows how they  create a vicious cycle.  He distinguishes activities ranging from sex with a  consenting  partner all the way to rape, incest, and child molesting which  produce different types of sex addicts.  In the chapter on the  characteristics  of  sexual addiction Laaser points out  parallels  between  sex  addiction and alcoholism: low self-esteem, an attitude of entitlement, control, unmanageability, denial, delusion, increasing tolerance, blackouts, blaming others, rigid thinking, and not being stopped by consequences.  He explains that sex  addicts  crave  the nurturing they did not receive as  children but don't feel worthy of nurturance.  They become codepentent, addicted to one or more people.  They often lack basic information about sex and are cross addicted.  Many seem  to  hate  all  men  or all women as a result of projecting anger toward their childhood abuser upon all of the same sex.  The list of twelve  observable symptoms at the end of this chapter may prove useful in identifying sex addicts.  The last chapter in  this  section   describes  sexually addicted pastors . 

Part II  traces  the  roots  of  sexual  addiction  to  unhealthy families.  Laaser describes characteristics of these families andtheir resulting physical,  emotional,  and sexual abuse.  Then he explains how sexual addiction is a strategy to cope with abuse and points out connections to religious addiction. 

Part III is devoted to healing the wounds of sexual addiction.  One chapter describes the 12 steps as tools for healing.  Another shows how to confront a  sexual  addict.   Treatment  for  sexual addiction is discussed in another.   In the chapter devoted to the recovery for couples, Laaser explains  that addicts and their partners have very similar  childhood  abuse issues.  Their first recovery task is to  stop  projecting  abuse  issues from parents onto the partner.  To  build  intimacy  Laaser  suggests  telling about past behavior, fighting  fairly,  and playing together.  He discusses a number of  needs  addicted  couples  have in order to heal.  He recommends the couple  have  a  couple sponsor to go to with couple issues and a practice  he calls the couple's personal inventory.  The  last  chapter  suggests  how  congregations  can recover.  A list of resources concludes the book. 
 
 

BROKEN COVENANT by  Charles  M.  Sennott.   Simon  and  Schuster. 1992.  $23.00. 

This is the story of  Father  Bruce  Ritter,  the  founder of the under 21 runaway shelter, Covenant House, and the events that led from his reputation as the  living  saint  of Times Square to his leaving  both  the  charity  he'd   founded  and  the Conventual Franciscan Order to which he had belonged for nearly fifty years. The author is a newspaper reporter for the NEW YORK POST; it was his article about Ritter  being  investigated  by  the  Manhattan District Attorney's office that  first  told  the world that this Catholic priest was not all he had appeared to be. 

The book begins with a gripping  reconstruction  of the gathering of  evidence   against   Father   Ritter  by  a  young  man  who, disillusioned  by  his   sex-for-money   relationship  with  him, recorded a conversation between them  and turned the tape over to the D. A.  Then the author  gives  biographical  background about Ritter's childhood, seminary  years,  and  the founding and early years of Covenant House.  Suspicions  of Ritter's sexual problems began in the l95O's but were never investigated. 

Sennott refers to  Ritter  as  the  Donald  Trump  of Catholicism explaining how corporate contributions  and direct mail campaigns provided Covenant House with an  annual  budget of $90 million by June of 1989.  He describes his  connections  to Reagan, the Far Right, and the Contras.  In spite  of his vow of poverty, by 1985 Ritter was paying himself a salary of over $98,000 and had set up a private trust fund of over $300,000 for his own use. 

Ritter's last  weeks  at  Covenant  House  are  reconstructed as fifteen young male  clients  with  whom  Ritter  had had sex came forward alleging   he'd  not  only  exploited  them  but had also bought their silence. 

As  a survivor of clergy sexual  abuse,  I found the last chapter the saddest.  Ritter resigned  from  Covenant House but was never charged  with  any  crimes.   Eventually  investigations  by  the Franciscans  and  Covenant   House   revealed  clearly unethical behavior both sexually and financially, but he never admitted any guilt  or  went  for   treatment.   He  was  forced  out of  the Franciscans but remains a  priest,  technically under a bishop in India.  

Only  one  of  his   victims   received   any financial compensation; this was an out-of-court  settlement with Covenant House, not the church.  Sennott includes  a copy of a letter from one of his victims to Ritter and a  response from the Franciscans thanking the  young  man  for  coming  forward but  offering  no compensation beyond  "our  gratitude  and  our prayers"!  The book ends with these sobering  statistics:     Over four hundred Roman Catholic priests  have faced charges in the past ten  years.  The church has already paid $400 million  for therapy and legal fees. An estimated 3000 priests in the U. S. today are pedophiles. 
 
 

LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION:  CATHOLIC  PRIESTS  AND  THE SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN by Jason Berry.  Doubleday.  10/92 $22.50. 

One sentence in the Prologue  seems  to summarize this whole book very well: "The crisis in the  Catholic Church lies not with the  fraction  of  priests  who   molest  youngsters  but  in  an ecclesiastical power structure that  harbors pedophiles, conceals other sexual patterns among its  clerics,  and uses strategies of duplicity and counter-attack against the victims."    

In Part One, Jason Berry, a  freelance  writer  living in New Orleans, tells the story of  Gilbert  J.  Gauthe Jr.,  a priest of the  Lafayette diocese,  who  in  1983  admitted  under  oath to sexually abusing thirty-seven boys.   When Ray Mouton, the lawyer hired to defend Gauthe, read reports of the hundreds and hundreds of sex acts he had had with  little  boys  in the rectory, in the sacristy, and on weekend  outings,  he  concluded he was going to meet the Devil disguised as a Catholic priest.  Upon interviewing his client, his first thought  was,  "I'm  talking to a nine year old."   Like so many pedophiles,  Gauthe was psychosexually arrested at  an  early  age.   He  had  been  abused  by an older neighbor boy when he was in  grade school. Convicted, he is now serving a twenty year sentence  in  a Louisiana state prison with no chance for  parole.   Church  officials refused  to  pay  for treatment that would  have  enabled  him  to  serve his time in a medical facility.  The  Lafayette  diocese has paid out over $20 million in damages to his victims.

Part Two is an analysis of  the  problem  by  Berry, who has been writing  articles  on  clergy  sexual  abuse  for over eight years.  He  quotes  books,  studies,  and  interviews  with  many priests across the country who believe  that today between thirty and ninety percent of  all  Catholic  clergy  are gay and that at least half of all clergy are sexually  active.  He concludes that leading lives of secrecy and narcissism has resulted in the great disregard for children  and  women  evidenced  by  the number and treatment of cases of clergy sexual abuse surfacing now. 

Part Three states that  four  hundred  Catholic  priests have been  reported   for   pedophilia   between  1984  and  1992  and illustrates  with  several   examples   how  bishops  and  church officials across  the  country  have  responded  by  covering up, denial, transferring the perpetrators  who continue to abuse, and even filing counter  suits  against  those  seeking  healing from their  church.   Berry  points  out  that  such  tactics  may  be expected from corporations, but when  practiced by men trained in scripture, ethics, and  values,  this  seems  to indicate a great moral flaw.  Besides, it  is  expensive.   By  the year 2000, the church may pay out $1 billion  to  resolve abuse cases.  The book is not pleasant reading: yet, it is  only when the People of God, clergy and laity alike, face  squarely  the  extent and causes of the scandal of sexual abuse in the church today that true healing can begin.  Berry's  years  of  intimate  familiarity  with  this subject  highly qualify him to write this book. READ IT SOON!!!!! 
 
 

YOU MUST BE  DREAMING  by  Barbara  Noel  with Kathryn Watterson. Posidon Press.  1992.  $21.00. 

"We are telling!"  is the  current  motto  of survivors of sexual abuse.  Indeed, survivors  are  talking  and  writing about their abuse.  This is  the  second  book  I  have  read  this week that exposes men of power who have  sexually  exploited those who came to them in trust for help and healing. 

Barbara Noel is a  singer,  composer,  and  lyricist who lives in Chicago.  In 1966 she  began  therapy  with  a  psychiatrist, Dr. Jules H. Massserman, because of  performance  anxiety.   Over the next eighteen years he  regularly  gave  her injections of Sodium Amytal "to help her overcome  her  resistance to the truth".  She saw him over 2000 times and  paid  him more than $100,000 of her own money without any health insurance  compensation.  She became addicted to the Amytal, a barbiturate, and to alcohol as a result of her "treatments".  On  September  21, 1984, she woke up in the middle of a  "treatment"  to  find Dr.  Masserman  on top of her raping her.  When she reported  the  rape,  a police officer told her, "You must have been dreaming"! 

Noel discovered  two  other  patients  whom  Masserman  had  also abused.  All filed lawsuits.  Because  Masserman was by that time eighty-one years old and  court  dates  were  four years off, all agreed to settle out of court.  In October of 1986, Noel was paid $200,000 by Masserman's  insurance  company, but she knew he was continuing to abuse other  patients.   The lawsuits were reported in an article in the Chicago Tribune on January 6, 1987.  Several other of  Masserman's  victims contacted  Noel.  Noel  wrote  to Masserman's professional organizations. 

Barbara Noel went into  treatment  and  began to recover from her drug and alcohol addiction caused  by Dr. Masserman.  After three years of seeing a woman therapist,  she remembered being incested by both her mother and her father.   In October of 1991, Noel was notified that Dr. Masserman had been  suspended from the American Psychiatric Association and from the Illinois Psychiatric Society although  he  still   refused   to   admit  to  any  professional misconduct. 

Let all perpetrators of  sexual  abuse  be  put on notice: We are telling.  We won't "just go away".   We will talk and write about our abuse until professions take responsibility for their members and abuse stops, no matter how many years that takes! 
 

THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER by Nelson DeMille.  Warner Books.  1992.  $21.95. 

I just came across this book.  It is my story with different nouns!  The institution comes first! 

"This is what happened on a night in August ten years before. The commandant of West Point did not announce that a hundred women in the woods with a thousand men did not get raped during training. And he wasn't about to announce that one did.   So the people in Washington, in the Pentagon, at the Academy, had reasoned with General Joseph Campbell. And, as he related it to Cynthia and me, it certainly sounded reasonable.  Better to have one unreported and unvindicated rape than than to rock the very foundations of West Point, to cause doubts about a co-ed academy, to cast suspicion on a thousand innocent men who did not gang-rape a woman that night.  All the general had to do was to convince his daughter that she-as well as the Academy, the Army, the nation, and the cause of equality-would be better served if she just forgot about the whole thing."  p. 331 

''Five men have a memory of a fun night, and here we are dealing with the mess. Five men, if they were all cadets, went on to graduate and become officers and gentlemen. They were classmates of hers and probably saw her every day. Indirectly, or perhaps directly, they were responsible for her death. Certainly they were responsible for her mental condition.'' 

Cynthia nodded. ''And if they were soldiers. they went back to their post and bragged about how they all fucked this little West Point bitch cadet."

''Right. And they got away with it." 

General Campbell returned and sat again. After a while, he said. ''So you see, I got what I deserved, but Ann was the one who paid for my betrayal." p.332 

The movie is much more violent with several changes in the storyline, but I hope it delivers the message to all those who do not read. 
 

SEXUAL ABUSE in CHRISTIAN HOMES and CHURCHES by Carolyn Holderread Heggen. Herald Press. 2/93. $9.95. 

Dr. Heggen, an Albuquerque psychotherapist specializing in treatment of adult survivors of sexual abuse, has written this book to show how both theology and church practices lead to victimization of Christians. In Chapter One she defines sexual abuse as tricking, trapping, bribing, or coercing someone with less maturity or power into a sexual experience. Touch is not necessary. Words, sounds, or exposure to sights can violate personal physical and emotional space harming another and leaving life-long scars. Chapter Two examines the scars which can include low self-esteem, self-damaging behaviors, inability to trust, damaged spirituality, and, perhaps, even loss of faith.  Chapter Three discusses denial, incidence, and factors related to abuse. 

Chapter Four is devoted to who become perpetrators and various theories why they do. Chapter Five examines six religious beliefs commonly held in Christian homes and churches and how these foster abuse. Chapter Six is devoted to abuse by clergy, the damage to victims of such abuse, an explaination of the imbalance of power between pastors and parishioners making consent impossible, and ten guidelines for pastors wishing to avoid abuse. 

In Chapter Seven Heggen points out that restitution involves the desire to make amends for sin and a willingness to bear the consequences of the abuse. Forgiveness is primarily an act of the will, but it is also a process allowing the victim to experience and let go of the intense emotional pain of the abuse. ReconciIiation cannot happen without true repentance by the offender; however, when the abuser continues to deny the abuse, the victim can extend a unilateral forgiveness freeing her seIf or himseIf from the pain, despair, and frustration of the abuse. 

Chapter Eight provides ten guidelines to congregations working with abuse victims as welI as ideas for working with offenders and with famiIies. Chapter Nine is full of ideas for making church worship sensitive to survivors. Chapter Ten suggests fourteen ways sexual abuse can be prevented, and Chapter Eleven includes five steps congregations can take in fostering healthy sexuality. The book concludes with a very hopeful epilogue and a bibliography of over one hundred books and articles. 

Dr. Heggen's book is not intended to be a self help book for recovery from abuse but, rather, a handbook to give clergy and lay people the knowledge and tools so they might be truly channeIs of healing and grace for victims, perpetrators, families, and congregations wounded by sexuaI abuse. May this book be widely read, especialIy by Catholics! 
 
 

FALL FROM GRACE by Andrew M. Greeley. Putnam. 3/93. $22.95. 

Greeley is a renowned sociologist, Catholic priest, college professor, and the author of over thirty titles with 15 million books in print. FALL FROM GRACE is his most recent novel, published in March of this year, although he says he drafted it last winter before the explosion of the clergy sexual abuse crisis in the archdiocese of Chicago where the story takes place. 

The main characters of the novel are Irish. Kathleen is a beautiful redhead with lots of political savvy, a Ph. D. dissertation in progress, three charming daughters, and a husband who beats her. Kieran is a psychiatrist who has been in love with Kathleen since he first saw her in eighth grade. Leary is the auxiliary bishop, a prisoner of seeing the world the way he wants to see it. Brendan is a priest with a law degree who, in a case against the archdiocese, is representing the parents of a third grader physically and sexually abused by another Catholic priest. Not Irish, the perpetrator, Father Greene, had been accused of anal rape of two twelve year olds ten years earlier and is suspected of participation in a Satanic cult. 

Because the book is flction, Greeley writes many things he might not have in a work of non fiction. He illustrates the denial of priests and hierarchy about clergy sexual abuse. He explains why the hierarchy will attack those victimized by the church before they will relinquish any of their power. He also states clearly the church is being run by lawyers who are proflting immensely. Greeley shows the sexual, political, and moral corruption that exist within the church from top to bottom. He suggests an independent lay review board as a solution to the crisis and says the media is the only real hope for clearing up the mess. 

At the same time, Greeley also points out that most perpetators were themselves abused when they were growing up, and he makes some powerful statements about forgiveness at the   end of the book. Full of romance and suspense, this story ends with a twist most will not have anticipated. FALL FROM GRACE entertains readers while furthering their understanding of the crisis facing the Catholic church today. 
 
 

New Reviews

The Truth about Malarkey  by Dee Ann Miller.  First Books.  2000. 

Dee Miller has written a novel about the devastation caused by clergy sexual abuse, not only to adult women and adolescents betrayed by their pastors, but also to congregations, other pastors, and even children conceived in abusive relationships.  Very cleverly Miller uses a 92 year old grandmother as the narrator and letters to her grandson, to be read someday when he is older, as the vehicle to tell her story. 

A pastor is invited to return to a mega-church he served years before as a guest speaker for the church's 35th anniversary celebration.  At first all seem pleased, but the new young assistant pastor notices one woman's pain and inspires the trust of her confidence.  Once he knows, he takes her story to the pastor, who tells him to forget it, but he cannot.  Miller uses her extensive communication with survivors to weave a story of the denial and blaming the victim and blaming the messenger in one nondenominational congregation that could be most churches anywhere. 

As a survivor myself, I found the book less than fun to read.  I was relieved it is short.  But I  am glad I read it.  I left my church before I could experience all of the pain characters in The Truth about Malarkey feel.  This book is fiction, but I know Dee Miller did not invent the responses to news that a trusted professional has misused his power.  I hope many will read this book and ponder it's message. 

The Hired Hand: A Case of Clergy Abuse by Donna E. Scott, AmErica House, 2001. $16.95. 

In the Hired Hand, Donna Scott tells the story of a woman sexually abused by her pastor. Part One tells The Setup: the issues that brought Renee to pastoral counseling, details of how Pastor Smith sexualized their counseling sessions, an explanation of the danger signals that might have alerted Renee if she had not been wounded and trusting of her pastor, a look inside the head of the hired hand contrasted with that of a good shepherd, and words to clergy exhorting them to not harm those who turn to them for healing and to not ignore other pastors who do.

In Part Two, Disclosure and Denial, we learn what happens when a woman tries to report her abuse. Scott explains the denial by the abuser, the denial by others, and the distortions of reality blaming the victim for what has happened. She devotes several pages to explaining why, although she is an adult, no woman who has gone to her pastor for counseling can ever give consent to a sexualized relationship and why she is never at fault. She ends this section with why pastors try to pass the buck instead of accepting responsibility for what happened, what God has to say about those who abuse, and words to clergy and congregations.

Part Three is devoted to The Aftermath, discussing in detail how the victim is impacted by the abuse: guilt, impaired ability to trust, ambivalence, emptiness and isolation, emotional volatility, suppressed anger, sexual confusion, increased suicidal risk, role reversal and boundary disturbance, and cognitive dysfunction.

The book concludes with an Afterward, endnotes, a bibliography, and an extensive resource list including books, videos, organizations, and support groups.

So few people understand the necessity for equality in power in order for sex to be consensual. Ms. Scott does and she says it over many times in this book. Let's send copies to Hillary, who refers to her husband's "affairs". Let's send copies to all the reporters who refer to abused parishioners as having had "affairs" with their pastors. Let's give copies to all the Catholic bishops who think only children can be abused by priests. Let's make copies available to members of congregations whose pastor has abused women. Let's give copies to our family, friends and neighbors, and let us pray they read them!

The Crime of Father Amaro or El Crimen del Padre Amaro 2002 R 118 minutes Director: Carlos Carrera Cast: Gael Garcia Bernal, Sancho Gracia, Ana Claudia

The movie is based on a Portugese novel written in 1875. The film itself is set in Mexico in 2002. Clergy sexual abuse has been around for a long time, and it is everywhere.

In this story, a newly ordained priest is sent by his bishop to serve in a small town under a seasoned pastor. He and a teenager of the parish are attracted to each other from their first meeting. Father Amaro soon notices that the girl's mother is not only the pastor's housekeeper and cook but also shares his bed. Amelia teaches catechism to the parish children and helps her mother serve meals to the priests. She kisses Father Amaro's hands as an act of devotion. She attends mass with her boyfriend, Ruben, who has said he loves her and wants to marry her. However, when Ruben writes an article telling the truth about inappropriate clergy behavior, Amelia gets angry at him and refuses to even speak to him. Ruben gets angry at Father Amaro and hits him. Father Amaro refuses to press charges against Ruben. Amelia, projecting the sufferings of Jesus onto the priest, weeps for him. He wipes away her tears and kisses her on the mouth.

Amelia goes to confession to Father Amaro. He admits he was "out of line". She asks, "What about our love?" Father Amaro tries quoting scripture: Love is patient. Love is kind. When Amelia presses him, he says, "It is a gift from God, but we must be careful as people will not understand."

In a group of priests Father Amaro expresses his opinion, "If celibacy were optional, the Church could avoid a lot of trouble." The pastor responds it will never happen. Later, in a conversation with Amelia's mother, he says, "I made you a priest's whore. Because I love you, I will go to hell." He is a conflicted man.

In a brief scene Father Amaro is shown holding his hand over an open flame as he struggles with temptations. But soon after he tells lies that get him a room where he and Amelia can have privacy. He has sex with her while quoting "The Song of Songs". During one of their meetings he covers her with a blue star-studded cloak and tells her she is more beautiful than the Virgin. She tells him, "I want to love you in front of everyone." He responds, "Our love is different." She points out, "Lots of priests hang up their cassock and marry." Amaro replies, "I spent years studying, I have a vocation. I can do much good for people as a priest."

When the pastor learns what Father Amaro has done, he is furious. "She is just a child. You are a priest." Amaro replies, "I am also a man." The pastor challenges, "You took a vow of chastity," and announces he will tell the bishop. Amaro assures him he will not tell; doing so would "force" Amaro to tell the bishop about Amelia's mother! "It is not the same," the pastor insists. "It is," says Amaro. Because of his own sin, the pastor is blackmailed into silence.

When Amelia tells Father Amaro she is pregnant, he asks, "Are you sure?" She is hurt: Is that all you can say? He suggests she go away for nine months and place the baby for adoption. She asks, "Is that what you want, for me to give up my baby?" He insists, "I am a priest. I can't jeopardize my priesthood. You knew that from the beginning."

How damaged would Amelia be if Amaro had insisted they use birth control? If he left the priesthood and married her? If she placed her child for adoption? If Ruben married her and raised the child as his own? If she kept the baby and raised it herself? I will not spoil the ending for you except to say the narcissistic young priest remains in character right up to the very last scene and the girl he "loves" pays the highest price for his sin.

I found this to be a powerful dramatization of how parishioners can be vulnerable to clergy, why clergy do not police their own ranks, how well-meaning bystanders collude with abuse, and how bishops are concerned only with the reputation of the institution they head rather than with those they shepherd. I highly recommend it, even though it is anything but a cheerful story.

This movie was nominated for thirteen Mexican Academy Awards. The video I rented had Spanish dialogue with English subtitles. I believe there is a DVD available with English dialogue.

On the film's official web site
http://padreamaromovie.com
there are links to many reviews. Several were written by people who do not understand a parishioner cannot have an "affair" with a priest. None are by survivors of csa. Drop by and do some educating! There are also photos and free ecards!

HOLY SECRETS, HOLY LIES: THE SHOCKING STORY OF SEXUAL CORRUPTION AND ABUSE OF POWER INSIDE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH by Christine Amoia, MS, RT
2004 AuthorHouse $17.50

All content of this web site is copyrighted by Mary Isabel Steele 2004-2007.